LOG DATE
¡¡¡¡¡Welcome to my yapper village!!!!!
I will be charing personal thoughts and my not good writing practice (im not good on that thats why i practice), just ignore the depresing stuff please.
This will be kinda sad themed so if you are not on a grate place emotionaly please be wise and look for suport love you lots <3
Jul 26, 2026
This last weeks have been an stresing horror, I feel like funtional shit. the first thing that happened was that my mom got bitten by my dog (my sweet little baby dog) bit my mom on the HEAD, and I know i just called him baby but he is a four years old husky so it was pretty bad, not as bad as it could had been but still bad, it got blody and all of that, she says it was not an attack that my dog seems regret full and I can see that too I mean he is part of the family now is my sweet baby who protects me and my mom is very protective of him too, she says nothing has to hapend to him but I still feel guilt becouse maybe if i had taken him out for walks more often it could have not happened and also my mom got bitten on the head, is crazy and im in charge of her woud care or at least I was until yesterday when she leaved, that leave me to the other stresfull things of the week.
My mom was planing to leave on agust 1st and I was cool with that we planed everything and I mean last week with her for a while I bought us tikets for a pool night with movies, I ask a friend to go with me to drop her at the airport, I ask this friend to come to my city cuz´she lives 4 hours away so this was gonna be an adventure. my mom was making me a flower band that I was planning to use on my last week on work, I even got her a seweng job for this week on friday and i specifically ask her to "please scheduel her time" becouse she use to overbook herself an work thill midnight and is not necesary. Then sudenly 5 hours later she start saying to me that she planed another stuff for this monday and that it was just a small job that they can find another pearson to do it, in that moment I knew that what she planed was crazy cuz´she didn´t want to tell me to my face .
She had just agree to go on a road trip with her sister from california to yellowstone, she was going to idaho on plane, she is not super old but she is not young neighter, and she got super intense like she was telling me I could drive her to a super far away place I had never been with her husband as companion and that her and my aunt were gonna leave and we could stay on the hotel to rest like way would it be okay for me to spend the nigth with her husband on a hotel? (I first knew him when I was 21) and we still had to check the car that was failing but she had to leave on less that 24 hours so it was impossible, I told her I coud´nt do it and she got sad and I couldn handel it so I say yes but I was mad for everything, she leaving early, not caring for our plans, she being super intense and not caring about her wouds, I thing I had the right to be mad; and THEN she leave to another compromise she had friday night and she told me she´ll be back for her woud care but she didn´t, she came back at 1 am saturday
I was super tiered.
Next morning after I speaked of this with my cousings we talk calmly and I said I wasn´t gonna drive her 8 hours into another country becouse it was crazy the last plan was a 30 minuts drive to the airport, and thanks god she reconsidered and also thinked it was too much and if I was mad for the car check up it wasn´t worth it (probably she try to minimise all she said the last day or probably she just wanted to go direct to the point)and she now wanted to go on bus, I offered to drive her to de boarder but she ignored that option and insisted, cancelled her plane ticket and she leaved.
I stayed mortifide for her wounds, and her meds, she wasn´t supposed to sweat, but still she leaved, this is exhausting, am I being mean? she really loves yellowston and all of the other series they have, this feels awful I fell horrible.
May 25, 2026
I just start rewatching Legion for like the fourth time, I really love Sid and David relatiónship , Kerry and Cary too and all those beutiful escenes with their lights and camera tricks, but why make the episodes so long?. As someone who see movies as tv shows sometimes spliting them in pieces to apreciate them, this show is as enyoable as hard to end for me.
Good for me I really like the first episode, I like to see it as a movie that never got a sequel but fantasticly whenever I want to know what hapend next I can just play the next episodes, It´s a very pleasant expearience for me jajajajaja.
I wish I could do the same with the movie jump or heroes, I have never see any profesional critic about those movies but I thing they are some of the greatest histories of super powers ever made.
If any of you have a story like those please tell me
May 24, 2026
I don´t have a chat on whatsapp with myself to put everything I want to check later and things I want to pass to may phone, I have a chat with my cousing old phone nuber and I thing that defines me.
May 20, 2026
I´m desperate to leave, i really want to take my vacations they are so close and i can bare it any more
May 12, 2026
Cuando llegue a mi casa despues de mi misión me senti taaaan libre y feliz, tal vez porque estaba en negacion de que regrese a casa por que el mundo estaba al punto del colapso debido a la pandemia y solo podia pensar en que ya habia terminado, despues de unas semanas comence a recordar
mucho que queria hacer y como ya no estaba en la prepa podia pintarme el cabello y decidi cumplir mi sueño de la infancia de pintarme el cabello de color verde; me sentia hermosa
mas alla de lo que jamas me pude imaginar, caminar cerca de 12 mil pasos al dia me habia puesto muy en forma, mi autoestima jamas habia sido tan bueno no solo de mi figura pero tambien de quien era yo.
Cambie mi cabello de muchos colores rosa, azul
, rojo
, menta
, y verde
otra vez porque amo ese color y es MI color, sin embargo todo cambia y ademas de otros cambios que tuve que hacer por muchos motivos tuve que cambiar mi color de cabello a negro indefinidamente por motivos profesionales. ya sabia que tendria que hacerlo en algun punto de mi carrera pero siempre guardaba la esperanza que poder mantenerlo, recuerdo que mantenia la caja de tinte negro en mi cuarto y me iba a la universidad esoerando que ese dia no me pidieran pintarlo hasta que llego el dia, se que es algo muy vanal, jamas en mi vida habia entendido a las chicas que se sienten inseguras por no poderse maquillar un dia o que lloraban porque les cortaban de mas el cabello hasta ese momento.
Cuando llegue a casa cansada despues de las practicas le pedia a mi mamá (encargada oficial de mi cabello) que debia pintarlo pero que me daria una siesta en los que se desocupaba. Me fui a dormir y cuando me desperto tuve la reaccion mas viceral de mi vida, tal vez mi sub conciente desperto junto con migo y no pudo ocultar lo mucho que le dolia perder el verde que me alegraba todas las mañanas al verme al espejo, le grite que saliera de mi cuarto que no me molestara y tan pronto cerro la puerta me deje caer en mi almuada y llore a cantaros, berrie hasta caer dormida y a la mañana siguiente entendiendo mi estado emocional pedi perdon y que me pintaran el cabello de negro.
Si fui
Por meses me asustaba verme de reojo en los espejos porque olvidaba que era negro, durante ese periodo no sabia ni que hacer con mi apariencia fisica no dejaba de pensar en cortarlo por completo e incluso llegue a soñar con tijerear en mi cabeza hasta quedarme calva, ahora que ya puedo ver ese momento de mi vida con la distancia puedo ver que deje de hacer muchas cosas por que ya no me sentia linda, me frustraba mi peso, la forma de mi cara y otras tonterias, pase un mal tiempo hasta que como una misericordia del cielo me crecieron mechones de canas (se que tal vez mi carrera me estreso tanto que me avegento pero igual me trajeron alivio) como distinguiendo nuevamente mi excentricidad que se habia perdido en la pasion de mi carrera profesional.
Hoy no se si estoy mejorando pero si se que mi autoestima esta regresando, me vuelvo a sentir linda y vuelvo a ser creativa, tal vez ya no me hago microbangs, ni me maquillo con todas mis paletas de sombras a la vez pero ya me gusta verme
otra vez y soy libre.
May 11, 2026
Me gustaria poner aqui mi vision board para este año ya que esta vez no lo hice en fisico y necesito tenerlo en algun lugar que vea constantemente. Llevo varios años cpnsecutivos haciendolo y sin falta muchas metas se cumplen, no puedo creer que los colores convienen literalmente hice esta pagina y el board con 4 mese de diferencia, espero alguna vez en su vida prueben hacer esto es una gran experiencia. para mi el que mis metas se cumplan es como si Dios me escuchara aun en este tipo de cosas y me las concediera porque hay unas que parecen un sueño, tambien me recuerda que siempre debo esforzarme porque hay cosas buenas para seguir viviendo y lograr disfrutar.
May 6, 2026
Going back to reality after a super festive weekend, everything was normal until I start hearing the most alarming alarm I had ever experience jajajaja.
To give some context my country is developing a national alarm sistem that goes off on every smartphone, it's not the fist time they taste it but the last time I hear that alarm was not a drill like all the times before because I was on a earthquake warning zone and we had to seriusly evacuate my house on midnight, so Idk probably thats why today i got freak out when the first phone started to sound, add to that that the whole morning we had been hearing airplanes flying around whish is rare, and not confortable when your work implies talking to hard of hearing old people, any ways also my companion told me that those planes have been around the whole week and then the alarm goes off in this place were no natural disasters hapen at all, i thaught it was the end jajajajaj, after a couple of seconds of confusion I got the brilliant idea of checking my phone and read something like THIS IS A DRILL, NATIONAL ALARMA TEST.
So today was a funny day i should see more local news so I don´t get jumpscared every conmemorative drill.
May 5, 2026
Hola, es mi tercer dia creando esta pagina, aun no se bien que escribir espero con el tiempo inspirarme, mientras tanto compartire un poco de mi dia.
Hoy fue dia festivo en las practicas asi que descanse por hoy, me desperte con el ruido de la lluvia y prepare masa para hornear pizza, salio increible porcierto, y luego fui al dentista
, camine un poco y ahora estoy aqui. creo que fue un muy buen dia relajante, deberia de estar haciendo los cursos que me piden para graduarme pero no quiero hacerlos hoy, ya se encargara de eso la yo del futuro XD. A y tambien comi una cantidad insalubre de papas flaminhot, ese tambien sera un problema para la lani del futuro porque la del pasado no tomo antiacidos.
Espero hayan tenido un buen dia tambien.